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Amira McLaughlin

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Blaming others for your experiences won’t make them change. Casting blame does two things – prevents you from owning your power and perpetuates anger in your mind and body. 

No matter how someone else is impacting you, you have the power to change the impact they have. 

Blaming is a pattern that becomes a habit. People who blame tend to use it as an approach to solving conflict. Except that it solves nothing. Blaming puts responsibility onto someone else, making it easier to avoid doing things like:

  • Taking ownership
  • Setting boundaries
  • Doing the work
  • Making important changes 

Blame can be a weapon or a shield

Blame can be used to make others feel inferior or to deflect someone who is attacking you. Blame justifies poor behavior and gives a false sense of self-righteousness. 

If you use blame as a weapon or a shield, it doesn’t help you keep a healthy mind and body connection. Blame is based on fear and anger, which are horrible states of being. Kicking the blame game habit is the best way to heal your mind and body connection. Here are some powerful tips that stop the blame game. 

Tip: Check yourself before you wreck yourself. The blame game is focused outward. Blaming others for something isn’t going to make the situation easier or more bearable. One of the first things to do when starting to blame others is to ask yourself if you may have a direct hand in what is happening? Checking the situation to see what your contribution might be will help you take ownership, which means there is something you can do about it. 

Tip: Find out why you use blame as a tool. Most people who use blaming as a coping skill don’t understand what motivates them to blame someone else. Awareness is the first step. Learning about the behavior and why it springs into action is the second and best step in stopping the blame game. Get educated about the psychology of blaming and discover why you tend to use blame.  

Tip: Get an accountability partner. If you know that you tend to blame and want to stop, get a partner to help you evaluate your behavior. Keep them in the loop when you feel like you are moving towards blame and ask them to help you stay focused and honest to avoid blaming others for things you can control.  

If you’ve used blame as a weapon or a shield, don’t blame yourself. Forgiving yourself paves the way to forgive those who truly are using blame as a weapon or shield against you. Stopping the blame game is a great way to heal your mind and body and get them connected – as they were designed to be. 

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