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Amira McLaughlin

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Did you know that one of the most common causes of complaints is actually fear? Fear is a powerful emotion that can control many aspects of your life. Constant complaining is often merely a way to disguise something you’re deeply afraid of. Rather than admit that you’re afraid, it’s easier to use the defense mechanism of complaining to cope. Let’s look at what to do when you’re afraid and how to break the cycle of complaining related to it. 

Analyze the Issue

As with past posts, I’d like to begin by advising you to assess the situation. You can fix a problem if you don’t understand it. When you find yourself complaining, take some time afterward to jot down some notes about how you’re feeling and where the fear may have developed. This insight is usually within your grasp. It just takes a bit of coaxing to come up with it. When you’ve identified the source of your complaints as fear, take a look at what might be causing you to be so fearful. 

Be Honest with Yourself

Next comes the hard part. This is where you get real with yourself. Again, I’m advocating brutal honesty here. Don’t hold back inconvenient truths from yourself, as this will only impede your growth and progress. Analyze that fear. Fear is usually part of other emotions such as insecurity or shame. Determine why you’re feeling afraid and why it’s easier for you to complain than to do something about it. Write down some notes so you can come back to them later. This isn’t an issue you will solve overnight. This type of self-growth takes time and dedication. 

Consider the Worst-Case Scenario

Finally, it’s time to take action and so something with the information you’ve gained through your introspection. One way to help yourself move forward is to consider the worst-case scenario. What is the worst thing that can happen if you stop complaining and push through your fear to act in a way that’s healthy for you? How will actions to overcome your fears impact you? What’s the worst that can happen? Usually, the worst-case scenario isn’t anywhere nearly as awful as we’ve built it up to be in our minds. When we face that worst possible thing head on, we can move forward to overcome it. 

Taking action is necessary if you want to put the complaints behind you for good. These are some steps to get you started in the right direction. You’ve learned a lot so far along our journey. I’m confident you can get past the fear to end the cycle of complaining in your life. 

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