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Amira McLaughlin

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Confidence: What It Is; How It Can Change Your Life

Photo by Emmy E on

Deanna was attending a work conference when she was challenged to make a list of her accomplishments and her failures. She did it and was surprised to see an overwhelming list of failures and only a handful of accomplishments. She felt embarrassed and angry that she hadn’t created more of what she wanted in her life.

Later that night in the privacy of her hotel room, she looked over the list again. She realized the one thing that was really holding her back was a lack of confidence. 

It kept her from applying to the better-paying position in the company that she was qualified for. Her lack of confidence was affecting her relationships, too—she didn’t want to go on dates for fear she’d be judged. She didn’t like the way she looked and she rarely wanted to leave the house after work.

Where Confidence Comes From

When you feel strong, you naturally engage more—in all aspects of your life and work. That’s because when you’re confident you broadcast an attractive energy that draws the right people, things, and opportunities to you.

But why is it that some people seem to have all of the confidence in the world while others struggle to believe in themselves even a little bit? 

Maybe you’re tempted to believe it’s a matter of how you grew up, how you’ve been treated in relationships, or what experiences you’ve lived through. While these things can certainly impact your self-confidence level, there’s as a simple truth you need to understand…

Confidence Is a Skill

The wonderful thing about skills is that they can be learned by anyone at any time. That means even if you don’t feel confident, you can begin developing this vital skill.

The more confident you are, the better results you get in work and life. Confident people seem to get more opportunities and have better experiences than those with less confidence. 

It’s not because confident people are smarter, luckier or simply born that way. It’s because they believe in themselves and so they operate from a position of strength. Instead of walking into a situation hoping for scraps, you walk in with the assurance that you’re just as talented, smart, and qualified as the next person.

How Confidence Changes Your Life

As soon as Deanna went home, she found a confidence coach. She began working with the other woman twice a week. She struggled with the assignments—like striking up a conversation with a stranger—at first.

But the more she followed through, the easier it got. Within a few months, Deanna was feeling more confident than she ever had before. She joined a dating site and started meeting up for coffee with a few people. She went back to school to complete her degree and her boss put her up for a promotion.

Whether you realize it or not, confidence impacts every area of your life. If you struggle with this skill, don’t worry. Just like Deanna, you can learn how to build up your confidence and step into the life you deserve.

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