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Amira McLaughlin

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Are You Struggling with Insecurity?

Being comfortable in our own skin can be one of the greatest challenges that we ever face. Yet a secure person is likely to experience more success, have meaningful relationships, and gain respect from others.

People who experience a lack of confidence tend to find difficulty in a variety of different aspects of their lives. If you’re battling insecurity, it may be holding you back and preventing you from achieving your dreams.

Here are some signs that may indicate insecurity:

Defensiveness. People with a lack of self-confidence can be sensitive to criticism, and they may often react with defensiveness. If you feel uncomfortable with yourself, it can be more challenging to accept your flaws.

“To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.”

–Henry Cloud

Secure people are capable of handling criticism. If you’re secure, you’ll be open to hearing different ways that you may improve. If you disagree with whatever criticism you receive, you probably won’t feel the need to argue because you’re happy with the way you are.

Inability to enjoy silence. Some people who feel insecure are unable to deal with any sort of silence. This may challenge you if you find yourself filling every moment with chatter. Perhaps you’re doing this in order to avoid reflecting on yourself.

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence.


Secure individuals can tolerate silence and often enjoy it. When you’re secure, you can allow others to talk without ever having to interject with your own opinions.

Joking excessively. If you’re insecure, you may use excessive joking as a coping mechanism. A sense of humor is good for emotional health, but if you feel insecure, you may joke excessively without understanding limits of appropriateness.

Self-promotion. Although this may seem contradictory, sometimes those who suffer from low self-esteem talk about themselves constantly, as if trying to prove themselves to others. Confident people don’t need to promote themselves in this manner.

Bullying. Because self-esteem challenged individuals often feel threatened by other people, a coping mechanism that sometimes develops is the drive to bully others. If you feel threatened by secure individuals, you may be feeling the power that they hold over themselves.

Overly competitive. Although competitiveness is natural, when this trait is taken to extremes, it’s often indicative of a problem. If you can’t handle losing without making a huge emotional display, then you may have a challenge with insecurity.

Photo by Anna Shvets on

Keep in mind that secure individuals win and lose with grace. Grace relates to respecting your competitors. If you’re comfortable with your own self, then you’ll lose and win with poise. 

Nothing dictates that an insecure individual must feel that way forever. If you recognize these characteristics in yourself, know that you can take positive steps to overcome your insecurity and build a better self-image. Confidence and security in yourself and your abilities will improve every aspect of your life by changing how you view yourself and the world around you.

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